problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize