this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
