for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
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