Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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