i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
