Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize