Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
