I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
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What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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