actually, I'm a sock model
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
