My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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