i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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