so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
