worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
did i just pee glitter
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