Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize