worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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