Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Are we in a gay sports bar?
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
