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You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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