Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Are we in a gay sports bar?
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
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I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
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My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.