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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.

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• (619): View more from California

  You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.

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• (408): View more from California

  you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.

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• (269): View more from Michigan

  quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.

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• (574): View more from Indiana

  First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.

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• (544): View more from

  I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.

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• (951): View more from California

  The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.

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• (516): View more from New York

  Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!

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