Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up