Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?