do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist