this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.