Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(707): View more from California

tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?

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(916): View more from California

Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.

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(314): View more from Missouri

Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.

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Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
Read it at the TFLN blog
(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.

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(404): View more from Georgia

Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.

(404): View more from Georgia

Everyone is cheering

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(214): View more from Texas

nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.

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(410): View more from Maryland

he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped

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(701): View more from North Dakota

I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.

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