gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video