My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
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On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
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just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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