So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
