you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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