If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
