My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
