Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
