You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
the liver wants what the liver wants
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
