So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
