The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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