I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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