I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
