david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
