shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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