this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
