Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
You dont lie about slip and slides
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
