that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
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I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
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Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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