hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised