remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
