I think I died a long time ago.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
i out mim tonsoeep
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