I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
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I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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