but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
