if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
