hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
