so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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