Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
