You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
