it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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