I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize