i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
