I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
people are starting to question the shark bite story
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
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