arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
