oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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