ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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