Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
