yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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