remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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