its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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