Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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