Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
