Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
