Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i dont even know how to be here
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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