I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
