I want to stick my p in your. b.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
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