I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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